What can be said for Dumbasses? The title kind of says it all, but this category of Time Waster sends simple yet obnoxious emails that generally seem to be from 14 year old boys, or very immature men. More often than not they say the wrong things, or just don’t say anything to inspire an ASP to contact them back. Note to anyone reading this, if you have sent an email such as these before – it is not an ASP’s job to contact you or beg you to come visit her or to answer your stupid out of line questions. Maybe try using your big brain once in awhile and do some research before emailing anyone. Oh and text messaging to try to arrange a first appointment with a lady you have never visited, in my opinion, is TACKY!
I hope you don't mind if I e-mail you, and just talk. You have made it hard to work this last week because I seem to spend time thinking about our time together and trying to figure out how I can budget for another visit and how I can explain needing to go to Saturn. I am thinking that next time I would like to give you a massage. I was also wondering how does a guy, if he was single, get to date a woman like you ? I mean someone in your work. I donot mean to over step but I am courious and have always wanted to know. Actually I have always wanted to meet a woman who is so secure in who she is as a woman it just seems that the confidence needed to be sexy is very sexy. I am probaly not making any sense.
So I will sign off for now take care" John Doe
"hello . do you do oral. without" John Doe
"You look, as they say, "mahvelous." Are you fun, as well? "
"Hi, I liked what I saw on your web site. You look very sexy. I'm a very nice, attractive man. Contact me if You wish to."
"seen you on xxxxxxxx.com was wondering if you are interested." Capt Kirk
"I saw your ad on XXXXXXXXXX and was interested in setting up an appointment. Do you have any pics? Do you speak French? Do you use a translator? Do you travel to greece?" Thanks...Sloe Witted
"DO YOU DO GREEK? THX" M
"In town on business, saw your ad, I am interested its Sunday and I am bored."
"what is your location and availability later this evening. T/M me at 303 XXX-XXXX"
"Hello ABC, I found you at http://xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.com and i intend to come in to states on the 22nd of september." Mr. Informative
"HI ABC, IM FROM PLUTO, AND WAS JUST MAILIMG YOU TO SEE WHAT COULD EVOLVE, PLEASE GET BACK,' JOHN DOE"
"It’s Broke Golfer, we communicated via email a few times a few months back. I was looking for a golfing buddy, and at the time wasn’t too happy with xxxxxx xxxxxx’x…well, we know what happened to them, and now I’m back in the market after a few months by myself in my apartment over here by Xxxxxxxx Golf Club. Wanna come over tonight? I don’t have the money for it, but we could spend the night and then I could take you out for a round at Xxxxxxxx tomorrow…I went out and shot an 83 today, 46 front nine, 37 back. I guess I remembered how to play after 9 holes…I really would like to hook up with a girl who knows how to “play,” let me know if you happen to be around tonight or tomorrow…" Broke Golfer
"Hey tat babe,bend over"
"seeing ur info on the internet i know u will be of good companion for me,i will be on holiday in xxxxxxxx by 20 november, and i will need u from(1pm to 5pm) on the 21th, i have to let u know that i luv full sex and.... , so i will want u to be a good companion for me, I understan ur best rate for 5hrs incall is $1150,, as soon as i see ur reply I will make arrangement for ur payment either via(america cashier check) or (bank transfer), so i can be rest assure that i have u for that day, i am caring and lovely too, u will enjoy me too. bye i await ur soon reply.” Fullsexlvr,
“You are beautiful. I live in Whoville and I need a beautiful woman. Do you travel and $$$ for a weelend. I very attractive or at least I've been told. "
"HI I saw your post on CL, I’m a full time IT guy I fix computers for a living. I’m looking to help girls like yourself out with some free computer help / repair, whatever u need I can do for you. I even have older laptops for trade if you want, I guess I’m looking to make a trade I fix for reapir your computer and some of your time. I even can build u basic websites for you, but this is take some time to do.Anyway I’m a normal guy just looking to see if you need some help for a trade.. let me know what u think"
"I SAW YOU... AND LOVE YOU HELLO... MY NAME IS GODFIRST... I AM 30 YEAR OLD, I SAW YOUR PROFILE ANF FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU... YOUR BEAUTIFULLL. I AM LOOKING FOR A SUOL MATE. SOME ONE I CAN CALL MY WIFE.... I AM WRITING FROM AFRICA CAPE VERDE... WEST AFRICA... I WILL LIKE TO KNOW YOU MORE... WE CAN ALSO SHARE PIC... UNTILL I HEAR FROM YOU...BYE... CIAO!"
"im Rumplestilskin i am in nyc im 43 jewish and white i am looking for a full time live in gfe i offer a great package r u able and intrested ?"
"Hello,safe here.You come here,we date.I come there,we date.In the meantime,can i buy a few nude photos $ of YOU.I know how to get the money to YOU.If you want to come to Wash.DC,you have a friend already > ME.SAFE 24/7 for YOU here in DC .KISSES!"
Dumbass - Hi there, saw your ad today. You offer half hours huh? What time of days are you usually available? Thanks Dumbass Escort - I am usually available the times that I have posted in the same ad that mentions offer half hours. Dumbass - Yeah, I'm sorry. I noticed that right after I sent this. Oops. What do you charge for a half hour massage?
First email - "My name is John. I am 20 yrs of age and attend a technical school in Gawdsland. Friday nights work best for me but I don't want to set up anything yet, as I don't have the money. Once I get money transferred from my hometown I would gladly make an appointment." John
Second email - "I'm just looking for someone to hang out with on the weekends, maybe a nice soothing massage and a movie at your place, just something to do. Let me know what your schedule is like and maybe we can work something out." Look forward to hearing from you, John
New entries from here down
Provider comment with submission of entry – “It clearly states on my web site and in my ads the minimum I will see a client is a 2 hour GFE”
Client – “How much for one hour?”
Provider – “Thanks for writing, My minimum is the 2 hour appointment. My rates are very reasonable. Im outcall only”
Client – “I like your style just don't have 200 right now I have 150 so maybe later thank you,” Haggler Bill
Provider – “There is a comedian called Killer Beaz whose tag line is: "Save Up" ;-)
I once has a client who rolled all the change around his house and made an appointment.”
Haggler Bill – “I will 200 plus motel room right”
Provider – “I do not go to shit hole motels. I've never had a disappointed client.
Over 75% of my clients are regulars.”
Haggler Bill – “Cool. I already like you I can see why 75 % I'm married and not geting what I need I know you heard this before I need someone to make love to me I miss that so much I hope you understand. Will you do some trading I have a terry redlin print winter wonderland signed and numbered mint co ndition artist proof this print is a $300 google search terry redlin go to art world you can see the image of a print and price this is a beautiful print”
Provider - Uh......no, I really don't have time to deal with that
"im only in town one night and im lookin for someone to watch a movie with at my hotel let me know if your free"
"do you do dominance and are you free now?"
"I have about $200 cash and credit out he wazoo. Are you avaliable?" -peter pecker
"Hello, my name is J-dog and I am a professional 38 yr old man in great shape, blonde blue green eyes, coming to the mountains (2/23-3/4) for day and night exciting times. I am a snowboarder who loves to ride Vail and BC in the day and then hit Keystone to ride at night. I will be staying in Vail and was looking forward to a special and unique lady to ride the mountain with (you can be a skier its ok) and enjoy all the finest things offered from hot tubbing to dinner. Please send me your info and I hope you are having beautiful day! J-dog"
"Hey there gorgeous :-P"
This is a string of about 20 emails this guy sent over time with no response to ever encourage them. "Are u around tonight ..would go all out. Fun really chill me, hi are you around tonight ,sweet fun nice guy, Hi Are u around tonight? ?// Hi u around tonight, Hi there Are u around tonight? Super sweet fun me, Hi Are u around tonight .saw your ad ,sweet cuite fun me .would love to see you, Hi, are u around? ? .if so will go what ever let me know asap, Hi are you available tonight? ? Thanks,Hi r u around tonight? ?? Thanks, Hi I know its late r u around? ?? 1 k hr, Hi are u around tonight Would go too whatever on my end Thanks so much, hi are you around tonight ,sweet fun nice guy thanks"
"Just wondering if you offer a non-FS sort of strip/naughty show? If so, I'd love to see you soon! Thanks,D-dog "
"Anybody can talk but can they really back it up.... Let me have you my way... Are you the real deal... sexy too.. Interesting body... I enjoy kissing a being kissed with tongue, problem? I like sexy undies and girl that knows how tease with them... My Fantasy Date is to tease your body into submission....I like a dinner/lunch date and later to bed to make slow love. If ask for your panties during dinner/lunch, would you take them off at the table for me to watch the removal during our meal? Let me play with you during dinner/lunch etc. You will be ready to explosed at the end of dinner/lunch. You must be hot, passionate, and exciting... Jake PS SEND more REAL PICS I am serious about my fantasy. And would like to find a girl that can fulfill it. I am a gentleman with respect for a lady......"
"I'm 64, l leave in D-Town. I'm in good shape. It will great to meet you and spend some time with you. I have info for screening. A-dog "
"saw u on NR whats up "
"Hi my name is m-dog I am from out at the state line ks looking for some to play with when i come to town someone that if i call will tell me yes or no not well m-dog "